A Start Of Something New

I was talking to my mom last night,
cried throughout the whole conversation,
just couldn't take it already la..so i KABOOM!!
Was telling her everything la,
my feelings, why i'm so miserable, why i'm depressed..
She understands.
After talking to her i felt relieved,
much better than before,
but how come i still feel the tugging in my heart?
the sense of sourness and sadness?
It's like initially i have 100kg of burden on me,
i thot once i tell my mom everything,
there wud be like 0kg on me..
but its not like that,
i still feel like there's a burden,
maybe it's 30kg now,
who knows?
I just wish this feeling would go away,
and stop bugging me.

I'm not gonna dwell on the past and keep thinking that i'm missing out or i've made the wrong decision...Since i've already taken this path, im gonna make the best out of it...and it's true that God has a plan and purpose in everything...im jz living to see wat He has in store for me here in KL...so goodbye KK...I'm letting go of you...and everytime i go back, it'll jz be a time for me to relax and enjoy...and not a time for me to be spoilt until i feel homesick again when i get here...Friends back there will always be my friends, its hard to find good friends like u all and i'll keep u all close to my heart...mum and dad, i'll always miss u both but it's time for me to learn to grow my wings strong...in training for the future rite? I love u very much...

My new life starts now, today, from here...More updates soon...=) All the best to me!

And I Cried...

I cried.
As the rain poured down,
I cried.
Just thinking about my parents,
and how much i miss being with them,
the thoughts in my mind,
suddenly turned to tears in my eyes.
I wanna be strong,
I really do.
Is it that hard?
Lord help me believe...
Please.

Sigh-ness...

for those of u who dont knw yet...i was back in KK last week for my holidays...i had an awesome time back thr la...can drive, everyday oso go out...my parents were there...can see them everyday...n now tat im back in KL, i feel so homesick again...mayb it's jz smth tat i'll alwez haf to go thru bt its hard la...being in KK, everythin is good, life is like perfect thr...bt when i get back here, i dont haf anyone...i go back to my place and all i haf is 4 walls and no one to talk to...so lonely...my mom tells me tat it's life and all of us haf to go thru tat...and i knw tat i can do it, bt its jz tat my heart is nt feeling wat my brain is thinking..u knw? and summore im havin so many assignments due next week...haih...Lord help me believe.....

well, its back to reality now...jz gotta stay strong and pray tat time will pass rili rili fast till May comes n i get to go back again...hmmm...kla...dunno wat kinda depressing update is this...bt tats all for nw la...gotta go dinner already...back to havin zap fan everyday...sigh~

Kim wans me to mention her name...so here it is...haha...